dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
