They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
