just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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