Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
wrigley field is MILF paradise
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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