Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
