I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
