Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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