its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
