Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
