Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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