(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
