She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
