what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
