Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
