Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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