She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
