i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
