i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
