There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
my poor anus
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
