I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
