The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
