Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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