i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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