I like my sex mixed with concussions.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
