Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
