He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize