So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
