I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
