trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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