its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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