The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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