i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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