her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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