I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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