After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
