That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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