My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
