I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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