I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
