i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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