What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
