Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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