I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
