New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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