I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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