thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
