I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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