FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
