Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
