I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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