she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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