Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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