Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
