when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
