mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am available for nakedness
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
