Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
