you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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