apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
