your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
