Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
