Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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